So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
