its not stalking. its research.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
