There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i was born a porn star she said
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
