Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
