that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He kissed a someone with a penis
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
