i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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