hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
