People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
