You work out of a Hotel?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
