Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
