Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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