If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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