So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
