Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
