cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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