I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
