i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
