I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize