Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
