Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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