she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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