i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
