I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
