Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
