this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
