i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Randomize
