I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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