i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
