Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
