party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
