I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
