No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I bet he comes in French.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
