in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
