i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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