happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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