I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
