Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
