oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
