I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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