Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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