I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
