Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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