i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
