So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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