I'd wear matching sweaters with you
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
