very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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