So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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