Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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