he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Two words: nipple clamps
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