they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
