What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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