i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
