im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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