So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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