I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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