I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
