Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
