hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
