So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
