I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
