I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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