i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
