just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
