so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
