i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
