Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
